I had forgotten that llamas spit. Unfortunately, I remembered it just a little too late – seconds after Forest, the resident llama at the Hutchinson Zoo, showered Greg and his little friend Ace Jackalope. Appropriately enough, it was a bit of a rainy day, so Greg had dressed Ace in his little yellow rain gear.

Greg and Mark are completely unsuspecting in this photo, which was taken just moments before the “incident.” I had just said to Mark, “Go over there next to Greg so I can get a picture of you both with Forest.” Well, moments later, Mark was across the rather large pen, Ace was on the ground, and Greg was wondering what hit him. Fortunately, I helped with that as the next thing out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’d forgotten that llamas spit.”

Little did we know how badly Ace would need his raincoat. And, in my defense for not offering a warning, it’s not like the fact that llamas spit is something you need to keep uppermost in your mind in daily life. And it is not what the zoo warns about either.

Oh, and did I mention that Forest is part of the petting zoo? You know, for small children? That’s where this very welcoming sign is – right beside Forest’s quarters.

We’re not really sure what other animals are in the petting zoo – they were all snoozing on this rainy day, or just busy hiding from people who want to take their pictures with Jackalopes.

Before “the incident” we were just enjoying the day. The rain had stopped and the zoo has had a major facelift in the last couple of years. So, we were just wandering around looking at the critters and doing what there is to do.

Greg was feeding the swans and ducks and geese. We looked at the ferret, the bald eagle, the bobcats, tortoise and iguana. The zoo has dramatically improved in the last few years. It’s one of those things where we’ve done something good with tax dollars.

The zoo was suggested by Greg, I think. But Mark jumped right on it because he hadn’t been there in years. I was open to whatever. We’d had a late breakfast at Skaets and decided to venture down to Carey Park, where the zoo is. Little did we know what an eventful day it would turn out to be.

You might think that people wouldn’t have much need to know about llamas – it’s not like they’re animals you bump into every day. But, here, we have more than our fair share of llama contact – although never as much as we’ve had today.

Hutchinson hosts the State Fair and they give away a llama every year. Greg always registers. I wonder if he will this year. Also, we have Hedricks Animal farm in nearby Nickerson and they have llamas. They bring them to the state fair every year for a petting zoo, along with other critters.

Well, I think that’s enough of a wrap up about my day. It has had a lot of laughter in it this afternoon. And I have to say for Greg that he is very easy going about such things. He saw the humor in it, too. Although he did mention that maybe a dear friend – like me – might have offered a warning. Honest to goodness, I didn’t remember that llamas spit until after the fact. But I bet none of us forget anytime soon.

So, in case you should have reason to be near a llama -maybe you’d like to come visit Forest – let me remind you – llamas spit.

Robert Putnam, the author of “Bowling Alone,” will speak in Hutchinson on the 19th. I’m going to see him. He has written a whole book about the disconnection we have as a society and how it affects us all.

He defines our connection with others as “social capital.” He says it has declined dramatically and uses nearly 500,000 interviews to prove his point. He says in the last 25 years we belong to fewer organizations, meet with friends less, and even socialize with our families less. We’re even bowling alone, instead of in leagues.

Trends over the last 25 years include:
attending club meetings – down 58%
family dinners – down 33%
having friends over – down 45%

This lack of connection contributes to all kinds of social problems – violence, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, etc. – all of them are tied to this lack of connection. For reasons I don’t understand, we don’t seem to care. I think I mentioned here recently how having family dinners together dramatically cuts down on the chance your teen will engage in risky behavior of various sorts.

A couple of interesting facts Putnam mentions – joining one group cuts in half your odds of dying next year. Also, ten minutes of commuting cuts your social capital by 10%.

I’m always going on and on and on about our lack of connection with each other and it largely falls on deaf ears and alternately ticks people off that I won’t let go of this one issue, but I know it’s critical. I’m eager to hear Dr. Putnam speak – maybe people will listen to him since he’s a doctor.

I’ve had a full day today, although I did try to rest today, which was a dismal failure for me.

This morning I had breakfast with some other Altrusans. Julie and I decided as cochairs that it would be nice to get together with Altrusans outside of meetings just to talk. So, we’ve had two gatherings so far – both with very little lead time – and both have been good. This morning was not well attended but maybe people don’t get up early on Saturday. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

Anyway, I came home and made some cupcakes for tonight’s Father Daughter Dance being put on by Altrusa. I then went upstairs and back to bed. I have been getting the message repeatedly that I need to rest. I fell a couple of weeks ago. Then a couple of nights ago I had a really rough night of stomach upset and spent most of Friday in bed, trying to rest. Anyway, I decided I want to try and pay attention to the universe telling me to rest so it doesn’t have to give me the message in a harder, different way.

Unfortunately, I did not really get a nap today. Unless I’m ill, I think laying in bed is just a huge waste of time. I could have been accomplishing something during that time. Anyway, I stayed in bed about three hours and I tried to sleep. I did doze, but never fully slept.

I had not planned to go to breakfast this morning unless I just woke up. I went to bed about 2 a.m. and at 7:05, my eyes were wide open and I was ready to start the day. So, I don’t know. I just don’t seem to be wired that way but I’m going to try and be better about getting some extra rest. I feel like I’m getting that message from the universe and I want to pay attention to it before it gives me the message in a much more dramatic way.

The father daughter dance is for girls 6-12. It’s a really neat event. We do punch and cookies and keep it pretty simple. It’s so adorable to see the daddies, grandfathers, uncles and whatever with the little girls. The bunch tonight was pretty wild but it was a good evening. I will be putting some photos on my live journal, but they’re not there yet.

Mark is down for the weekend from Kansas City. I was doing so well at preparing for his visit until I got ill Thursday night and so I, again, didn’t have his bed ready for him. Poor guy he always has to end up putting his own sheets on!

Greg and Mark went to see Gone With the Wind tonight at the Fox. The Fox is a beautiful, 1930s theatre that has been restored. Last weekend we saw North by Northwest. I took a group there to see it and even though I’m not a movie person, seeing the old clothes and such was neat.

We just got in from a late night bite at I-Hop — the only place that is open late here. We’re just chatting but I’m going on to bed soon. Gotta get some of that rest! 🙂

I only own one list and it’s all I can manage. I’m alternately charmed and frustrated. Starting one is simple – keeping it going is another thing.

On my list, it seems that unless I’m involved on a practically daily basis, conversation stops. There are some others who valiantly try to get discussion going, but it just doesn’t happen regularly. I can’t figure out the dynamics of that, frankly, but it has been noticed by others – not just me. I’m hoping now that it has been brought to light in list discussion, it will change.

I have come close to just deleting the list but over the past two years it has been a wonderful, thought provoking, special thing at times. But I do also wonder if lists simply have a lifespan.

I’m also on a list that has over 1000 people and less than 5% of them have ever posted. I wonder what they other 95% are doing there. Obviously, you can’t have 1000 people posting, but it would be nice for a larger percentage of them to talk. The owner of that group shares some of my same frustrations about lists in general.

I have made my list a no lurking zone and have whittled it down to a small group. Periodically I go through and delete people who are not participating. It seems most list owners disagree with me, but I contend that discussion lists are for DISCUSSION, not reading.

People always tell me that people are participating in their own ways if they’re not posting. I don’t see it that way. If you’re not giving of yourself to the list, you’re only taking from it. If you’re reading along, you’re not doing anything that helps make the net an interesting place to be. A discussion list is not a magazine – it’s for discussion and people who don’t want to participate by posting are using it inappropriately. If I wanted to just publish something people could read, I’d start a newsletter. I wanted conversation and input and to share with others of like mind, so I started a discussion list.

It has been curious to see how my own views have had to be defined while doing this. I have zero tolerance for “chit chat” on discussion lists and quickly get away from any that do that. So, how do you discourage that? Some don’t – some like it. That’s one of the tricky things about being a list owner. You have to figure out how to categorize the things you like/don’t like – and communicate that, which is even harder.

It’s also interesting that there are certain people who are integral to a list and its health. I’m not sure if it’s a certain mix of personality types or what, but I know there are some people that when they stop posting – on my own list or others – the list dynamics change dramatically. How do you attract and keep those people? I don’t know. But that seems to be something important for list owners to do. I don’t do it because I don’t know how, but I think it’s a critical thing. If you have a list of 1000 people, it seems you’d always have the right mix, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Lists are always dominated by a few people and who those people are, and what their views are, is the “feel” of the list.

What is the difference in a list of 1000 people where 20 people are posting and a list of 40 people where 20 people are posting? It’s really all the same – it’s all about those 20 people.

One of the reasons I want everyone on my list to participate is that I think that makes the list more interesting for everybody. Another reason is that I wanted to limit the “borderline personality types” that seem to crop up on every list at some point. They’re the always have to be right, have the last word, can’t let anything drop, types. The larger the list, the more likelihood you’ll get one or more of these folks. They’re far more prevelant online than they are in real life. So, when one crops up on a list, I start sending all the email from that list automatically to my trash until they move on.

I think lists are fabulous for connecting with people who have similar interests, that you perhaps can’t find wherever you are. But, I think they also lead people to believe they have “friends” and “relationships” that don’t really exist. I call them psuedo-friends. If you don’t know where someone lives, if you can’t call them in the middle of the night, if they can just stop talking on a list and they’re gone from your life then they’re not a friend. That is not what friendship is made of. Friendship is a living, breathing entity that needs more contact than screen time.

This ties in with another of my theories about the “real world” and the artificial world, which is where most of us live.

People are forgetting very basic things like how to cook so we can feed ourselves – incredibly basic. And we’re forgetting how to make friends and have connection. I LOVE my computer – but I keep my online “relationships” in proper perspective. A friendship has to involve more than words on a screen.

One of the disheartening things I’ve learned being a list owner is that people will just lie through their teeth (fingers) to you. I’m very clear that participation is required before people are approved for membership. And yet people will say they will participate and then we don’t hear from them again until I bump them off and then they’ll email me wanting back on. Some people are legit – they joined and something changed in their lives – but some are just devoted to being lurkers. I know many don’t agree with me and they can run their list anyway they want, but I find lurking bizarre, and more than a little rude.

My theory is that discussion lists can be wonderful connection or dangerous confusion for people. Lately, many are becoming nothing more than ads for people’s blogs.

I do wonder how far from reality we are going to get – we went from having face to face conversation to having screen conversation and now some don’t even want to do that – we want to have monologues and let others read them on our blogs.

So… here’s an update on my blog… thanks for reading…

The question was asked today… What am I fanatical about?

Easy answer – Washing my hands. I do it dozens of times a day and no, it’s not something my job requires. I’ve been this way all my life.

When they redid the bathroom in my mom’s house when I was about 3 she had them put the sink at a height I could reach on my own. My dad was saying, “Mary Lea, she’ll grow!” My mom was saying, “put it right there. You don’t know how many times a day I wash this child’s hands.” As she always told it I would toddle up to her and say, “Mama, wash my hands… my hands are duh-ty.”

Anyway, I carry wet wipes with me at ALL times so when I can’t wash my hands I can use those. I also have purell, although it’s not my favorite thing. But I cannot eat without washing my hands. If I go outside, the first thing I do when I come in is wash my hands. If I go shopping the first thing I do when I come home is wash my hands. If I’m getting clean laundry out of the washer to put in the dryer I wash my hands first (it’s clean, after all!). If I go to the basement, when I come upstairs I wash my hands. And yet, I’m not a very good housekeeper. Go figure…

I hate shaking hands with people, although I will. I hate touching things I know jillions of other people have touched – like shopping cart handles and such. I make it a point to NEVER touch my face after being out until I can wash my hands. All those things are just crawling with germs and getting passed from one person to another. It’s why people stay sick all winter long. Someone wipes their kid’s nose, then puts their hand back on the shopping cart handle. Then you come along and touch it and now it’s on your hands. You rub your eyes and voila! you’re now sick with whatever their child picked up from the kid at preschool.

People have always made fun of me for my handwashing, but you know what – I *rarely* get sick. I can’t stand for my hands to be duh-ty.

I’ve been reading about creativity and brain waves. Pre-adolescents have an abundance of theta waves, which we know are associated with creative thinking. Theta waves are associated with fresh perceptions and wild ideas. This may be why children are so open to bizarre and zany ideas – their brains are wired to be open to them.

At puberty, the brain starts to change. At birth and all through childhood, the brain has a ton of neurons but at the time of puberty, the brain “prunes” some of the connections that haven’t been used a lot. They die off and others become the patterns that we maintain throughout life. It’s interesting to consider that this may be why things that appeal to us in childhood still do in adulthood – perhaps those connections survive this pruning.

It’s also why it’s so important to give children time to play and repeat tasks and learn. Unlike other species, humans have to learn so much of what we do. Creativity and curiousity seem natural companions for this process.

After puberty, we have many fewer theta waves in our brains – those waves linked to creativity. Edison apparently had a trick for waking himself from the state of just going to sleep so he could write down anything that had occured to him during this critical, theta-wave rich, time. He would nap with his hands full of ball bearings, resting on the arms of his armchair. As he relaxed and went to sleep he would release the ball bearings. They would drop into the pie plates he had conveniently placed below his hands and wake him up. He would immediately write down notes on what had occured to him in those moments.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned here before that I have a very weird sleep pattern – very odd – always have, my whole life. I don’t seem to need as much sleep as other people and I wake up many times during the night. I always have. I’m also known to be a little bizarre. When I read this it made me wonder if all the multiple times I wake up and go to sleep increases the time my brain is producing theta waves and if there’s a connection.

In adults, theta waves are much more rare. The one time we have a large amount of them is in that time between sleep and waking – when we are just falling asleep.

Well, I’ve ruffled feathers and rankled sensibilities with my latest post about writing. Let me clarify before all the panties in the world are in one big wad. (Don’t you just love tired cliches?)

If you think it’s just loads of fun to spend your free time writing for your friend’s webpage for free, great. Have at it. I might suggest you could find better things to do with your time, but that’s really not my place. Do whatever you want to do. It’s probably a thousand times more productive than a lot of things other people are doing. So, have at it. BUT, please, neither refer to yourself as a freelance writer, nor refer to the writing as a job. Jobs involve payment. Freelancing involves payment. This is a “favor.”

You may be the expert in your chosen hobby. Great. I’m happy for you. You may want to share that with others interested in the hobby. Wonderful. Do it. Just don’t be kidded into thinking that you’re going to be “discovered” and suddenly be asked to write books for a mainstream publisher. Some people who run speciality websites need a LOT of content and don’t want to create it themselves. (Damn, why didn’t someone tell me it’s a lot of work to maintain a website?) Instead they want to get you to do the work for them. If you want to do that favor for them, go ahead, just don’t be duped into thinking it’s going to manifest a new career as a writer for you.

I’m a firm believer in volunteer work – I do a lot of it and I benefit from it in others since I run a non profit. But, if you have time to give, seek out non profits in your area, call your local volunteer center, and look for opportunities to help people. Meeting other like minded folks is always inspiring.

I stopped being in online or real life writers groups because I was just so darned annoyed by the idiocy of them. First of all, people think writing is something they should do for free for “exposure.” This is ludicrous. You should write until you’re good enough that someone will pay you for it. Giving away your words just tells people that you don’t think you’re any good, either.

The other reason I stopped trying to be involved is that people spend TONS of time thinking about stupid things like their pen names and the names of the books they will write. Well, big news here, names of books are generally determined by editors and/or marketers. So, you’d be better off to spend some time writing. And, hey, it might give you something to put that pen name on. You’ll have plenty of time to practice the Oprah interview when you’re jetting between cities on your mega book tour. (Dream big!)

I think the reason people don’t want to do any writing is because it’s hard to accept that it’s one of the easiest things in the world to do, and yet it’s so damned hard to do it well. All it takes is a pencil and paper – almost everyone on the planet has the necessary equipment. It boils down to BIC (butt in chair) and that’s the thing people have such a hard time with. In reality we don’t need computers or spell checkers or an audience. What we need is to write. But, it’s the last thing that most wanna be writers seem to want to do. I also discovered that the people who are making a living writing are generally … well … WRITING.

Wanna be writers join writers groups in real life and online where they can talk about writing. And they read books about writing. The only thing they don’t spend much time doing is writing. Should they actually do some writing, their first instinct is to try and get someone to publish it. Trust me, that’s rarely the first thing you should try to do with your writing.

Goodness knows surfing through about 85% of the web should be reason enough to realize that many people who write should not publish. And that *anyone* with a few dollars a month can publish a website. Shoot, you don’t even have to have a few dollars – you can do it for free – blog sites abound.

Within the last 24 hours, I’ve actually heard someone refer to their “job” as being a “freelance writer.” In reality, this person has neither a job nor are they a freelance writer. I know because they’ve gone on to say they’re writing for online sites for free. I’m sorry, you’re confused… let me clear this up for you… this is NOT a “job.” It’s volunteer work. A job is something you get paid for.

It’s also rather bad form to call yourself a “freelance” writer when you’re a volunteer writer. “Freelance” means to sell your services to an employer without a long term commitment. Even a volunteer writer should understand the words one is using.

A “job” is when you perform a service for someone – maybe writing – and do it well – and so they pay you for your services. It’s much like when you pay the hairdresser to cut your hair, or the cleaner to press your suit, or the tailor to make your clothes. When you have a JOB as a writer, people pay you for the service you’re performing of putting words together.

Well, this type, along with the, “well, today I’ve taken a leap of faith, and decided to devote myself to my art and quit my job” types, are the reasons I can’t find a place to communicate with other writers. I haven’t yet seen anyone who didn’t have someone else to pay their bills take a “leap of faith” and quit their job. If you’ve got a spouse to pay all your bills, then it’s not a leap of faith, it’s just sleeping in when you want. A leap of faith is when you’re so sure you can sell your writing that you’re willing to bet the house on it – literally. Relying on someone else to pay the bills is not the same thing.

Well… gosh… apparently I needed to get that off my chest. And – hey – I got some big news for you – few of us like to write, but most of us love having written. Now, I need to get back to my own writing.

I often wonder how we all got to adulthood. My nephews (all just a little older than me) and I grew up together and between the five of us there were more bike accidents and tumbles and falls and sprained ankles than I can count. There were accidents involving bikes and trees and horses and farm equipment.

Between us there was a broken back, a choking incident, a fingertip cut severely, a broken arm, two broken legs (same person, same time) a snake bite, and dozens of other things involving medical attention.

And yet, somehow, we’re now between 43 and 50 and we have no ill effects other than a few scars and stories.

When you consider we were all around farm equipment, had never imagined wearing seat belts, were pulled in old car hoods behind trucks as a sled in the winter, and rode on tailgates all summer long, it’s rather amazing.

Funny how times change.