I’ve always had a love of things substantial. I like my beds with canopies, my fireplaces marble, and my garden urns iron. I, however, have none of these things.
I was in a home today that had all of these things, and it caused me to wonder why I am drawn to them. They’re attractive, of course, but so are dozens of other things that I don’t give more than a passing glance to. So, why am I drawn to the particular things that hold my fancy?
I never feel as at home anywhere as I do in a Victorian-era home. It feels natural to me. I feel settled. I look around and find something pleasing to the eye everywhere I glance. I have the sense of people about to knock on the door and I’m eager to sit and visit with them over tea. Why is that what feels comfortable to me?
As I was looking at this bed today, which was curtained on all four sides, and could have had a canopy on it, I realized that I’ve been wanting a canopy bed since before I knew how to say the word. I was very young when I read about a canopy bed and started asking for a “ca-noopy” bed. (Rhymes with Snoopy, in case you’re wondering.)
I’ve known the proper pronunciation of the word for a few decades, and yet I do not have a canopy bed. In fact, I have never even slept in one. Is that pathetic? Yes, it is. Surely I could have located a B and B somewhere that had one I could stay in. But I haven’t. A few times it has been a possibility but I could never convince myself to spend the extra money for the room with the canopy bed. It seems silly, and yet the longing remains.
Why do we deny ourselves like this? This seems such a simple desire to fulfill and yet I’ve failed to do so. It may be that I wouldn’t really like sleeping in one. I have an unnatural fear of something “falling on my head” so a whole bunch of wood and fabric above me might give me reason to pause. But, it still seems like a good idea. I still want one. I still love they way they look. I have very high ceilings in my house – perfect for accomodating a canopy bed.
There are two interesting questions here about the things that attract us and the things we allow ourselves to have. We humans are infinitely interesting creatures. I wish I understood us. Or even me.
But I guess for tonight I will lay my body down in a regular bed and dream of ca-noopies overhead.