Patsy Terrell

Lived fully, laughed loudly, gave generously

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History is Made – Supreme Court Rules on Marriage Equality

This is what history feels like. Today, one of the most important Supreme Court decisions in my lifetime was handed down. Same-sex couples are entitled to marry just like anyone else, and have their marriages recognized in all 50 states.

Kansas, where I live, was one of the few remaining state that prohibited gay marriage. As of today, it is the law of the land that everyone has the same rights when it comes to marriage.

I’m not sure how long it will take for me to stop saying “gay” marriage and just call it marriage. I think it’s going to take awhile because over the last few years I’ve said “gay marriage” many thousands of times, I’m sure.

20150626 006 lovewins

This morning when I saw the notices on Facebook of the court’s decision, I asked if anyone wanted to go to dinner tonight to celebrate. Eventually we ended up with 20 people, 22 including another couple that decided to come last minute and couldn’t sit with us because we couldn’t add any more tables, but did get to come and visit. It was a great group. I wanted to be with like-minded people tonight.

I was in tears multiple times today, just from the emotion of seeing something I believe to only be fair and right come to fruition. I thought the decision would go this way, but I was relieved when it did, nonetheless.

Tonight I passed around a journal and asked everyone to write something about the struggle, what today meant, or anything else they’d like to share. I didn’t read it until I got home because I knew it would make me cry. It did. I am constantly flabbergasted at what my gay and lesbian friends have suffered. Just as I will never know what it would be like to walk around in darker skin, I will never know what it feels like to be shunned only because of who I love.

Often criticized for his flowery writing, Justice Kennedy wrote the majority opinion, and his style was perfect for this occasion.

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No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.

The judgement of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.

It is so ordered.

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Of course, not everyone is happy. One of my Facebook posts today acknowledged that:

There are people I love who are not sharing my joy today at the ruling on gay marriage. None of those people will be hateful, for which I am thankful. I hope eventually you’ll see this day as a time when our union became a little more perfect, a little more equal, a little better for ALL of us. But, even if you don’t, I’ll keep on loving you. Because ‪#‎lovewins‬ in all circumstances.

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But, despite that, it’s a happy day, a historic day. This is one of the great moments in our nation’s history when something that should be obvious is made the law of the land. Yesterday the Affordable Care Act was upheld by the court. Today gay marriage. If the supreme court had a fan club, I’d join this week.

I would like to see everyone on the right side of history, but if that were possible, there wouldn’t be these issues. Some will always insist on being the Bull Conner’s of the world. With social media they have a bullhorn of a different sort. But the difference today is that we ALL have that bullhorn.

Tonight the White House is lit with rainbow colors. Obama was so eloquent today about the decision.

I am also happy that Obama is getting vindicated. I cried the night he was elected, too. I was so overcome with emotion, with a feeling that we were turning in the right direction. I have that same feeling today. And in his years in office we have healthcare and now marriage equality, both of which will eventually be considered the norm.

I realize there will come a time when people say, “gay marriage, what do you mean?” And we will have to explain that there was a time gay people were not allowed to be married. We will have to explain that there was a day when that changed. Today was that day.

This is what history feels like. Sometimes America gets it right. ‪#‎lovewins‬

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I Can’t Breathe Either

Warning: I have some strong opinions, which are expressed here with some mild “language.” As always, they are only my opinions and not those of any organization, entity or human I’m connected with, hence why they’re posted at “Patsy’s Ponderings.” Consider yourself fairly warned, and read at will!

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I’ve watched a man die. He was choked to death by a police officer in Staten Island on a bright July afternoon. After he was restrained by a method that has been banned for about 20 years, he collapsed on the street and said 11 times, “I can’t breathe.” Four police officers watched him. A grand jury did not indict the police officer who choked him, even though the city’s medical examiners ruled Eric Garner’s death was a result of actions by the police.

Garner was pronounced dead at the hospital about an hour after the incident. The medical examiners concluded he was killed by neck compression from the apparent choke-hold by the police officer, along with the compression of his chest and prone position during his physical restraint by police. They also listed contributing factors like his size and medical conditions.

He may not have been the picture of health, but he was standing on the street before being approached by the police, not exhibiting any difficulties with his asthma, heart disease or obesity. And just to be clear – nature gets privileges to determine when our time is finished that are not extended to someone just because they have a badge, a gun and an attitude.

I am not an “anti-police” or “anti-system” person. In fact, just the opposite. I have had family and dear friends who are part of both of those systems.
I believe – still – that the majority of police officers are reasonable and respectful.
I believe – also – that we cannot overlook the fact that white police officers killing black men and boys is far too common.

What are we white people so damned afraid of? What? I’m not saying I’ve never been leary of a group of young black men who seemed to be feeling their oats a little too much. But I’ve also been leary of a group of young white men exhibiting the same behavior. And a group of young men of different colors doing the same. Why do black men and boys scare us so much? I’m not being flippant. It’s a real question. What are we so afraid of? And why are white men seemingly more afraid than anyone else?

I respect that police have to make decisions in the moment that are difficult and can have devastating consequences. I do not accept that a police officer approaching a man on the street who is doing nothing to raise suspicion, initiating contact, and his partner then choking him to death while he’s saying he can’t breathe, falls into that category.

We’ve seen far too many of these cases of black men and teenagers dying at the hands of those who believe they are “protecting” themselves and others. In most cases there are some unknowns, some uncertainties, some gray areas. In this case we can all see what happened because it’s on video. I am not seeing a lot of gray area. A police officer initiated contact with a man, accusing him of something all evidence indicates the man was not doing. His partner then proceeded to kill him. HE KILLED HIM. He killed him while the man was doing the equivalent of begging for mercy by saying, “I can’t breathe.”

You can spin it however you’d like, and as a public relations professional I’m certainly no stranger to how that works, but the facts in this case are that a police officer initiated an unnecessary interaction with a citizen and the citizen was then murdered by the police force. Did the officer intentionally murder Garner? I doubt it, although I’m not willing to say that for sure. I doubt he got dressed for work that morning thinking, “I’m gonna kill someone today.” But that officer’s history indicates he had some definite difficulties with knowing when to stop. It’s documented – not speculation.

The officer suspected Garner of selling loose cigarettes, something he had done before. Garner was obviously frustrated at being accused of something that there’s no indication he was doing. He did not respond to the officer in the gentlest way, but he didn’t threaten him either. Regardless, the other officer immediately went to an extreme measure to restrain him. Even if he had been selling loose cigarettes, isn’t that an offense that would be the equivalent of a parking ticket?

Understand, he was just standing on the street. He wasn’t doing anything except standing there. The police created the entire incident in which they murdered a citizen. On the street. In broad daylight. This particular precinct has a very large number of substantiated complaints against it, and the officer who killed Garner has had three cases where he has been specifically accused. It seems the police are cocky enough to believe they can kill someone on the street, without even the cover of darkness, and it’s okay. And, for reasons I cannot fathom, some people do believe it’s okay. This is not okay, people. It’s not. No! Not okay!

Even a grand jury has decided it was okay – that there’s no reason to have a trial for this murder. Fortunately, Attorney General Eric Holder feels differently and is launching a federal investigation. This is one of the reasons I’m a big believer in layers of government. Because sometimes people are just too damned ignorant to make wise choices, and another layer of government has to explain the error of their ways. I’ll just mention the Little Rock Nine here, if you need an example.

Garner did not have a circumspect record. Neither did the police officer. So, lets just assume they are equals in that they’ve both had some “difficulties.” But, thank God, we are not walking around in danger of being killed because of things we’ve done in the past. Well, at least not if we’re white.

Therein lies the rub. I’m a white girl who was raised in the south and has made my home in the midwest for a long time. I’m no expert on race relations. The community I live in is about 95% white. That’s not why I chose it to live in it – in fact, I didn’t even know that until I’d lived here for awhile.  But the fact remains that other than a few years, I’ve lived in places with little racial diversity.

However, I have been fortunate enough to have real, honest interaction with people who are not walking through the world in white skin – at least it seems honest and real to me, although I have a feeling I’m only getting tip of the iceberg because they doubt I can handle the full story. Those in black skin grow up with different conversations. When they’re children, their parents tell them they can’t have the realistic looking toy gun because they know there’s a danger they might be shot by the police as a result. They learn to navigate the world differently. They pay attention to things those of us who are white don’t even notice.

The white girl in me was stunned by this knowledge and only through sheer determination could I fight off the idea of, “oh, you’re being overly sensitive.” I knew intellectually that wasn’t the case because I valued the opinions of those who were telling me these things. But I confess it took me some time to integrate this knowledge into myself as a way of “knowing” something instead of just having information.

I’m heartbroken to say that I no longer have any difficulty with that. It would be a much better world if my non-white friends were actually being overly sensitive and I was able to brush aside what I’m hearing as, “oh, it may have been that way at one time… but not now… we have a black president… ”

But I can’t. The body count won’t let me ignore the truth.

I know better.

I can’t breathe, either.

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McCain is Bush Three

I don’t generally watch the debates. It makes me nervous. And, frankly, the whole situation can make me squirm a bit. I’m not a person who likes conflict and so I stay away from it. Debates are, by definition, about conflict.

I wait until it’s over and flip on the news so I can watch the debate about the debate. Then I watch the debate on a rerun.

As a result, the first reference I heard/saw to “that one” last night was on twitter. Then I saw another one. Then another one. Then someone posted a link to this graphic.


This graphic is from the Daily Kos. It was up only a short while after Senator McCain’s reference to Senator Obama as “that one.” While it’s one of those comments that seems offhand, the attitude in which it was uttered says a lot about the personality of John McCain, I think.

In case you didn’t catch it…

As my seventh grade English teacher, Miss Fenwick, would have said, “I don’t care for your tone.”

Of course McCain is angry
Much has been made of John McCain’s “angry” personality. Well, you know what, the man was a prisoner of war for years. He has a right to be angry. I’m not surprised he’s angry. It would be bizarre if he weren’t angry. However, I’m not sure that’s a good qualification for being president. Do we want an angry president? I don’t think so.

Also, frankly, I’m sick of hearing about his time as a POW. I respect it, but it was more than a few years ago. Can we please move on? Can we talk about something else? Can we address the wars we’re in now? Or the fact that our economy is in the tank?

I don’t think the fact that he was in the military gives him any special qualifications to be president. In fact, I contend it could well be a detriment.

Hasn’t he done anything in the last 26 years in the Senate that’s noteworthy? He keeps going back to his military service prior to that. What about the last two and a half decades?

Are you better off?
The old Ronald Reagan question is a valid one in any election, I think – are you better off now than you were four years ago? In this case, eight years ago?

No.

That’s the answer for most Americans – at least those of us who don’t happen to be heavily invested in oil and gas.

McCain is just Bush Three
So, what does that mean? Well, what it means is if you’re not better off, you should vote for something different. McCain would just be Bush Three. Good heavens, we’ve had Bush one, and Bush two, haven’t we learned enough to not have Bush three.

McCain has voted with George Bush 90% of the time. What could that be but Bush Three?

I have had more than enough of Bush. We have gone from a country with a budget surplus to a huge deficit. We’re at war – a war that seems to have no end. We have an economy in the worst shape since the depression.

Can we Afford this?
In all of this financial news, people keep telling us we should ask ourselves, “Can we afford this?” A friend suggested to me the other day that as a nation we should ask that question, too. Can we afford this war? Obviously not. We’re going into debt more every day to fight it. Can we afford this bailout? No. We’re borrowing to do it. Can we afford another Republican administration? NO.

Why is the economy in such a mess? The one reason that no one is talking about is that the Bush administration failed to do what would have grown our economy. Every 8-10 years you need an infusion of new jobs to keep the economy growing. In the Clinton years it was the technology sector. The last few years the obvious growth was in alternative energy. But the Bush administration chose not to encourage that – perhaps because so many of them are heavily invested in oil and gas.

And how does this relate to McCain? Because McCain is Bush in a different suit. McCain has been a senior member of the senate and could have pushed for alternative energy. He did not. Suddenly now he’s decided it’s something he wants. That’s such BS it smells, even through the computer screen.

How Republicans See the Economy
When McCain talks about change of any sort I just laugh. What else can you do? He’s been in DC for 26 freaking years. He’s had plenty of time to change anything he didn’t like. What he has changed is regulation. He wanted to get rid of all kinds of regulation to make things friendlier for business. He is part of what created the situation where executives at big companies are running them into the ground but then getting multi-million dollar “golden parachutes” for their reward as their employees are left destitute and you and I are left holding the bill.

That’s what republicans want – benefits for the rich.

Someone recently told me her husband was a Republican because he believed that those who worked hard deserved to be rewarded with financial gain.

Are you actually suggesting that the people working at McDonalds or Target or Applebees aren’t working hard? Are you saying that the CNAs taking care of your loved ones in nursing homes and getting paid minimum wage are not working hard? Are you saying school teachers aren’t working hard? That those guys climbing poles during ice storms aren’t working hard? Do you think the people cleaning your kid’s school aren’t working hard? Do you think folks in chicken processing plants aren’t working hard? Are you suggesting family farmers are slacking?

I don’t know what his definition of working hard is, but I’ll put the work day of the average nurse’s aide up against his any day. I’ll daresay it’s far more physically, mentally and emotionally challenging. Yeah, sure, I’m mentally tired at the end of a day sometimes, but I always remind myself that by and large I’m sitting behind a desk in climate controlled comfort, pushing paper and talking on the phone. It’s not the hardest work I’ve ever done in my life. Not by a long shot.

I’m not dealing with people’s bodily fluids, lifting people into wheelchairs and on my feet multiple hours a day – not to mention worrying about if I’m doing all I can to keep people comfortable. Lets keep things in perspective. Are you really suggesting those folks aren’t working hard?

If that’s the only basis on which we determine financial reward then a whole bunch of professional athletes are going to need bailouts and a large crew of lower/middle-income folks are shopping for new homes. Nice, new homes. Fortunately, they’re cheap right now thanks to the sucky economy.

Those people are all the middle class people. Some of them are aspiring to be middle class. John McCain can’t even bring himself to say the phrase “middle class” in a whole debate. Why? Because he has no concept of what that is. He has lost that perspective. He has said having $500,000 makes one rich. A half million dollars? That’s rich, so I guess below that is middle class – the class he can’t even acknowledge. In his world, everyone has a half million dollars or more. In my world that’s not the case.

Negative Campaigning
Multiple people were talking last night about Obama’s demeanor during the debates. Obama said in an interview that he was surprised McCain “wasn’t willing to say it to my face,” referencing the negative ads. The Obama campaign has said they will not initiate any negative ads, but they’re not going to roll over when they’re attacked – they’re going to answer it. Thank goodness. I’ve been waiting for a democrat that would do that. Hallelujah.

I am sick of democrats just being “nice” and getting “swift-boated.” McCain is scared, with good reason, and he’s getting nastier every day – living up to his Senate nickname of McNasty. At the moment, 100% of McCain’s TV ads are negative. Obama is running about 30% negative – answering those.

Do you want another New Orleans?
Well, I could go on and on and on, but I’m going to stop there for tonight. I’ve got much more to say.

If you thought watching the people of New Orleans die in the streets, begging for food and water, while our government sat idly by was one of our finer moments as a nation, then vote McCain.

Do you remember what McCain was doing that day? I do. He was celebrating his birthday with President Bush.

Yes, while the people of New Orleans were fighting for their lives, some losing that battle, Bush and McCain were holding a birthday cake up for the cameras to celebrate McCain’s 69th birthday.

That’s what you get with a vote for McCain – more of the same. Another president who thinks this is an appropriate way to act. Another president who sees no reason to be concerned about the average citizen – the middle class, or heaven forbid, the lower socio-economic class.

That’s what republicans have given us. And what they’ll give us more of.

If you want something different, vote Obama.

You may say I’m being overly simplistic, but it really is that simple. One is a government of compassion. One is a government that thinks the fact that citizens are dying in the streets is no reason to delay a birthday party photo-op.

I’ve had more than enough of this.

I’m voting for compassion. For change. For the future. For Obama.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

I am looking for book clubs willing to read and critique my novel when it’s completed. If your book club is interested, please email me at patsyterrell@gmail.com. Thanks!

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Governor Sebelius Speaks at Kansas State Fair

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius spoke during a chamber breakfast Wednesday morning at the Kansas State Fair. Each year Wednesday is Governor’s Day and she kicks it off at the chamber breakfast.

This is her 14th consecutive fair. She attended eight as Insurance Commissioner and this is her 6th as Governor. She said some of the highlights for her were the year she was part of “A Prairie Home Companion” with Garrison Keillor, and launching the Kansas State Quarter.

She spoke about the aviation industry and her visit to a big air show in England. She said 50% of the general aviation plants flown in the world right now have a Kansas connection. Wichita is the center of that industry in the state.

Energy was a topic for her too. She said, “We need a comprehensive energy plan nationally,” and encouraged people to call their representatives and encourage them to help renew the production tax credit for wind energy.

Wind energy is growing here by leaps and bounds, which is logical since Kansas is the third windiest state in the nation. There was a goal to have 10% wind energy by 2010. We’re already at that. Two years ago we were at 3%. Sebelius said there has not been a transmission project in Kansas in 30 years, which was part of the problem of getting the power to where it could be used. Currently there are five, private, competing projects. Kansas is part of the corridor known as the “Saudi Arabia of wind.”

Sebelius said that “food based ethanol is a bridge. We do not want food/energy competition.” She said it’s best to move to cellulosic ethanol such as from switchgrass. “We’ve grown the food. There’s no reason we can’t grow the fuel,” she said. She said this has “huge potential for the future.”

She touched on education, and how important that is to the state. “Education remains our single most important economic development tool we have,” Sebelius said. She spoke about how most of us have multiple careers and that sometimes requires retraining.

Health care remains one of her concerns. She wants insurance for everyone because 46 cents of every dollar we pay for health insurance goes to non-insured. Eleven cents goes to direct costs – like going to the ER instead of to a primary care physician. People tend to only go to the ER when they’re much sicker. The other 33 cents goes to overhead costs – we’re not buying anything related to health with that money. That 33 cents of every dollar you and I spend on health insurance is going to extra billing, redundant forms, etc. – basically, paperwork. We spend more for health care and get less for it than almost any developed nation.

She said 80% of the Kansas state budget is invested in health care or education.

After the speech she was going to tour around the fairgrounds. I went to work a shift at the democrat’s booth. I left a little after 11 but she hadn’t been in that building yet.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on Facebook.com, Follow me at Twitter.com.

I am looking for book clubs willing to read and critique my novel when it’s completed. If your book club is interested, please email me at patsyterrell@gmail.com. Thanks!