I have been feeling “out of sorts” for the last few months. I’m not depressed. I’m not upset. I’m not bored. I’m not unhappy. But I’m not normal. I’m a little “flat.”
Part of it is the need for newness in my life, but that’s not all of it. It is deeper than that and I need to figure it out and address it.
I have been trying to put my finger on it and just can’t quite get a handle on what the problem is. After some soul searching time late today I have reached some conclusions.
1. My “overstretched arch” has prevented me from getting the normal amount of movement in each day. I’m not saying I exercise regularly, but, in the course of the average day when I wear my little pedometer I walk about 2000-3000 steps. For the past four months it has been so painful that I have walked no more than necessary, which is far less than that. Maybe it’s true what they say about needing some exercise/movement to keep various chemicals that affect our moods flowing in the body.
Late today I walked a little nature trail that’s about a mile long and although my foot is slightly sore tonight, it’s not bad. And I walked a couple of little trails near Mammoth Cave last week, too. So, hopefully it will continue to improve and I can move more.
2. I have spent too much time and energy this year on things that drain me and too little on things that restore me. It seems there is a constant increase in things that require my attention that I don’t wish to do. But, they must be done. So, what is one to do? We all have responsibilities to fulfill. All I can do is try to limit future obligations.
3. I have been journalling less than usual. I’ve had other kinds of writing to do, including blogging, and have spent less time with pen and paper and I must change that. Journalling is something that we know makes people happier so I must get back in the habit of doing it nearly daily. I go in cycles, but have been keeping a journal since I was in grade school, so this is obviously just a blip. But, regardless, I need to be aware of this.
4. I need opportunities to be with people in meaningful ways that result in learning, creativity, or emotional bonding. For example, leadership last fall provided a great chance to get to know 29 people from different areas. The artist’s retreat last year was a great example of a bonding experience. A group of us used to gather and go to see the energy healer, or attend related conferences and such. We haven’t done that in a long time and no one in my circle seems interested in doing it anymore. I long for the connection one can only get from a concentrated time frame with others. I have tried to create opportunities for that a couple of times with friends and met with little or no interest.
So, I think I must create something and issue an open invitation, instead of limiting it to people I already know. Obviously, I’ll be posting info here when I consider what that will be. It would be fun to get a group of women together from some meaningful interaction.