I am always doing what I can’t do yet, in order to do it.
~Van Gogh
I was reading some old journal entries today from before I came over to blogger and ran across this one. It struck me anew so thought I’d post it again.
This is me, in a nutshell. I like to do different things – knit, paint, ride 844, go to Quebec, whatever. But, once I know how to do them or have experienced them, I’m done, unless it was an incredible, amazing, unbelieveable experience that I want to repeat. I love to paint, and no doubt always will. I like to knit on occasion, but it’s not any big deal. I have no great urge to do it perfectly – just like to do it.
The perfection thing is the key. I’m content to just “do” whatever it is. I don’t need to do it “right” or “perfectly,” I just want to “do.” And then I want to do the next thing.
It’s yet another conundrum in my life. Because there are other areas of my life where I’m so “stable.” When I’m involved in a serious relationship I have eyes for no one else. Greg told me once that when I’m involved I just give off NO vibes. And I’m very content.
With work I tend to stay in a job for a long time. I may change what exactly I do in that job, but I tend to stay somewhere for extended times.
But, with less serious things, I’m content to just try it and see how it goes. Of course, that’s usually how I get into those relationships and jobs now that I think about it. I guess maybe they just work for me – like painting or travel – and I want to keep at it. Obviously food for more thought.
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