I’ve been thinking tonight about relationships and how complex they are. Of course, if you involve two human beings – both very complex creatures – it’s not hard to imagine a relationship being difficult.
I’m certainly not in a hurry to get into another one. I’m still puzzling over the last one and until I’m through with that, it would be unfair to get involved with anyone else.
It’s not like people are beating down my door, anyway – but I have a theory that you should always be alone for at least two months for every year you were in a relationship. July 29 would have been 5 years for us, so I’m nowhere near ready to open myself to that yet.
It’s hard to figure out how you get from being madly in love to being done. One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I never fall out of love. The last day I was with him was just as intense for me as the first day – more so in some ways – and that’s true for every relationship I’ve had. That fading away that others talk about just doesn’t happen for me. If I feel it intensely to begin with, I still feel it years later. I guess it would be easier if it didn’t happen that way, but that’s how it is for me.
So many questions… I wish I could have the answers. How will I ever learn without the answers?