Well, doggone it, Rush Limbaugh is once again in trouble regarding drugs. This time it was by customs officials who found Viagra that was not his prescription in his bags. He was detained for about three hours in West Palm Beach, returning from a vacation in the Dominican Republic.
His people say it was in his doctor’s name for privacy concerns. I guess in Florida it’s legal to have a prescription in a third party’s name, as long as everyone is aware it’s being done. So, as long as the doctor confirms this, Limbaugh isn’t in any trouble regarding his recent deal with prosecutors on doctor shopping charges to feed his painkiller addiction. Of course, the privacy thing is out the window.
All of this aside, I have some questions.
1. Isn’t Rush single at the moment? Didn’t he and his wife file for divorce a year or two ago? So the spokesman for the conservative Christian-right is busy fornicating and that’s OK? Apparently he even joked on his show about the fun he had on vacation and said he wished he could share with listeners. I’m very confused. I thought sex outside of marriage was wrong. I remember that very clearly from Sunday School. I thought that violated the very things conservatives stood for. What kind of family values is it to be going about banging women you’re not married to? I don’t recall what the Bible says about painkiller addiction, but I’m pretty clear about the no sex outside of marriage part.
2. When did all the men in America become impotent? I come from a long line of men who were fathering children into their 70s and 80s, long before we had things like Viagra. You know, I’ve had sex more than a few times in my life and impotence has never once been a problem. Never once. What’s the deal? Admittedly, I would never choose someone like Rush – no question about that. Maybe it’s a personality thing. I only sleep with liberals – they don’t have impotence problems. Oh, gosh, that’s a brilliant marketing position for the democratic party. And, you know, come to think of it, who made Erectile Dysfunction a household phrase? A big time republican, that’s who. I swear… I’m onto something here…