When I was in Kentucky recently, I had one of those moments of a switch flipping, and my attitude about something changing in an instant. It has happened before, but I wish I could figure out what causes it. If I could, it would be mighty convenient to speed things along.
This situation was one that has been lingering in my life for the last few years. Not demanding a tremendous amount of attention, but a miniscule, low-level amount every week. It was just always “there” – the “what ifs,” the “coulda, woulda, shoulda,” the wondering, the trying to let go and never being able to completely do it.
Then, week before last, I was having a conversation with my great-nephew BC, about nothing in particular, and it was like a tumbler in my brain fell into place and it was different. I recognized the change – I instantly knew I was done. I no longer had any feelings toward this old situation – good or bad – it was just the past. That happened intellectually a long time ago, and 99% of every other way, but there was still a tiny fraction of emotional attention being paid to it. Until that day. When all at once, it was done with. Gone. Finished. Complete. Over. Done.
If only I could figure out how to make that happen on my own time table. It would simplify so many things in life. But, regardless, I’m thankful for the change on this situation. It’s always good to be done.
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