This is a new series on the blog – “Things Men Have Said to Me.” It should be called, “Things Men Have Said to Me that I Never Ever Ever in a Million Years Would Have Believed if I Hadn’t Heard It with My Own Two Ears,” but that’s too wordy.
This week’s entry is from a man who shall remain nameless because I don’t want to cause any harm to his loved ones – not that I know any of his loved ones and can’t imagine they would ever read this anyway. Nonetheless… just in case…
Here’s the sordid tale:
A week or so ago, this man who I’ve met in passing a few times hits on me, and asks me out. He’s a nice enough guy from what little I know. He can speak intelligently. He’s charming. But there’s just a little something that makes me not say yes right away.
What’s a girl to do?
Go directly to google, of course. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Google, girl, google. Go forth and google.
Within 90 seconds of sitting down at the keyboard I know he has a wife and kids. I’m looking at their freaking vacation photos. (Fishing and camping in Colorado, in case you’re wondering. The little boy caught his first fish on this trip and had his photo taken with dad and the fish. I expected to see the ghost of Norman Rockwell peeking around a tree somewhere.) Somehow he had forgotten to mention that teensy-weensy little detail of the missus and youngun’s.
Today I bump into him, and he asks me when we’re getting together. I say what I think should be very clear, “I don’t mess with other people’s husbands or boyfriends.”
Is that not clear? It seems clear to me – not open to interpretation – but I can tell from the look on his face that he’s having trouble processing the words. He recovers quickly, however, and then says to me, with barely a half-beat missing: “Aw, come on… what’s the big deal… why not?”
I say, “Because it’s trashy. And I’m a grown up. And grown ups don’t go around willingly inflicting pain on their fellow humans. And it’s trashy. And I would never be involved with a man who cheats – if he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you. And it’s trashy. Why would I want to be involved with a cheater? And it’s trashy. You have a wife and kids you should be concerned with. And it’s sleazy. Did I mention trashy?”
Okay, truthfully, I probably wasn’t that eloquent. “Trashy” came up a number of times. I’m sure of that.
So, this entry in the “Things men have said to me” is “Aw, come on… what’s the big deal… why not?”
I realize how this phrase could be applied to any number of things, but breaking vows to someone you’ve promised to ‘love honor and cherish, forsaking all others,’ doesn’t seem like it would fall into this category of casualness.
Besides, I just don’t do stupid. A man who hits on you two days after posting photos of his family’s Colorado vacation on the world wide web is just too dumb to even talk to, much less anything else.
Our interaction is complete.
Alas, he will not have another opportunity to be featured in the “Things Men Have Said to Me” series.
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