I’ve always had issues with trust. The reasons are myriad, and not worth spending my energy typing about. At some point along life’s path I realized I had to come up with some way I could manage my trust issues and still function – in the world, in relationships, with friends, in any circumstance imaginable.
So, I developed a system that works for me. The bare bones description of it is that I give everyone 1000% complete and total trust. But the first time it’s abused, it’s gone. There is no going back. Well, not that I can imagine, anyway. Maybe at some point there will be a situation where that happens.
In the last two or three years there have been some situations where I had a little big of niggling doubt about someone. But, I didn’t end the relationship because there was very little risk to me, my heart, my life, etc. if the person proved untrustworthy. So, I let it ride because they had not demonstrated I had a reason to not trust them. It was just a feeling that they were trying to use me.
Now I know my instincts were right. No serious harm was done to me or my life, except that I’m left with the knowledge I was used. And used for something I consider really petty. But, obviously, it wasn’t petty for them.
So, I’m letting that go. I don’t believe in carrying grudges, but I believe in accepting knowledge. I now know this person can’t be trusted. I wish them well on life’s journey and thank them for the lesson.
I should trust my instincts.
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