I am getting worn and I’m whiney, so please feel free to stop reading now.
OK, that was your fair warning.
Tuesday will be six weeks since surgery, which is a magic time, when I can increase some things I do. I’m supposed to be very cautious for eight weeks, so there’s still two more weeks ahead, but I am getting so weary of not being “normal.”
Greg has been very gracious, but I know he’s getting tired of having to do things around the house that I can’t bend to do. I’m certainly getting tired of having to ask him to do them. I will be so glad to be able to do those things for myself.
I have had some pain the last couple of days on the left side of my tummy. It feels very much like a pulled muscle, which may well be what it is. It does not feel like an internal injury of any sort – just a pulled muscle when I move a certain way. Right now it feels fine but sometimes when I stand up and move it can take my breath away for a few seconds. I’m sure it will improve over time.
I’ve become overly sensitive to people expecting me to be completely normal at this point. I’ve done really well, and I think because people see me up and about they expect that everything is completely normal. It’s not. I’m not well yet. I’m doing great, and I am healing well, but I’m not at 100% and I simply can’t yet do everything I would like to do and that others would like for me to do. I sometimes have to stop from screaming, “Hey! this wasn’t just a hang nail. This was major. I need some time to be back to normal in every way. Stop pushing me.” So far I’ve been able to bite my tongue, although a couple of people have really tested that. Never mind that I haven’t yet had time to process wondering if I would die, which I really do need to process.
I’m whiney tonight. I’m not sure why. It will pass. Quickly. Because I’ll make it pass quickly. This is just a blip. I’m going to chalk it up to daylight savings time and take this extra hour I’m awake to count my blessings, which is a far better use of it than being whiney.
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